


i want to give you something

by cyclothimic



Series: dreamers and realists [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 09:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3114188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyclothimic/pseuds/cyclothimic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm in love with Quinn."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I said I'm in love with Quinn, Kurt."</p>
            </blockquote>





	i want to give you something

_My words they don't come out right_

_But I'll try to say I'm happy for you_

_I think I'm going to take that drive_

_I want to give you something_

_I've been wanting to give to you for years_

_My heart_

_-Congratulations, Blue October_

* * *

She auditioned for Glee. She got in, no doubt about that. She was just coming out of Sandy Ryerson's office grinning with triumph when she passed by a pretty – no,  _beautiful_  – walking passing by in the hallway. It was after school, so it wasn't really that strange for the hallway to be empty except for those with extra-curricular activities.

Rachel was wonderstruck by the beauty and elegance of the girl that she stopped short just to  _stare_. And Rachel Berry certainly  _does not_  stare.

The blonde – Quinn, she learned afterwards – noticed her as well and if she wasn't mistaken, there was shock in the blonde's extraordinary hazel green eyes as well. Rachel mustered a polite smile, so did the blonde. They nodded each other and paused, but walked pass each other eventually.

Rachel turned to look for a couple more seconds before walking out the front door of William McKinley High School, ignoring the flutter in her stomach while thinking,  _she could be anyone_.

* * *

She couldn't deny that the first time she met Finn Hudson she thought he was a tall Frankenstein-like idiot with a good voice perfect to be her male lead. That was why she took an interest in him, initially. She also couldn't deny that her interest in him deepened when he told her Quinn Fabray was his girlfriend.

But she couldn't decide if her determination in breaking him and her up was because she was jealous of Quinn Fabray…or of Finn Hudson.

* * *

She was the loser.

She expected that much.

But the fact that Quinn Fabray was her main tormentor was what hurt the most.

She didn't know why.

But every time she looked at Quinn Fabray, it seemed that Quinn had something more than hatred in her eyes. Something tender.

The most complicated thing was that she always felt better when she saw that  _something_.

* * *

Quinn was pregnant. Rachel was disappointed when she heard that from Finn. She wasn't disappointed that Finn was the father and they might never get the chance to be together. She was disappointed that Quinn would let herself be so careless. Because the Quinn she knew wouldn't do something like that.

She did her best though. She tried to subtly care for Quinn. She even sang a song for her, for God's sake. Keep holding on, she sang while looking at Quinn and she couldn't help but smile a little when she saw the gratitude in Quinn's tearful eyes.

* * *

When Quinn got kicked out the squad and eventually her house – that bastard father and that dumb boyfriend, Rachel cursed – Rachel was trying to as helpful as she could. She slipped notes into Quinn's locker. She kept an extra eye on Quinn whenever there's Glee practice.

And whenever she looked at Quinn and Finn, she shook her head in disapproval. It was obvious she wasn't happy with Finn. Why bother? Yes, there was that child. But still…

Rachel also realized the quiet conversation she  _always_  saw Quinn and Puck carry. In Glee club. In the hallway. Even in class. Rachel couldn't help but smell something fishy. She was also suspicion of one thing. But she kept quiet. She thought Quinn would break the ice herself.

She didn't, of course.

* * *

That day, Rachel's suspicion was confirmed.

She told Finn, in order to end part of Quinn's misery of living with him and be with Puck.

Because try as she might to deny it, Quinn always seemed happier with Puck.

* * *

She and Finn dated for awhile. They were…okay. She had feelings for him. Real feelings. But he just didn't seem to respect her all that much.

He broke up with her one day. She cried. Of course she'd cry. She got dumped! But her sadness only lasted for two days. She sat on the couch for the two days, shoveling vegan ice cream into her mouth as she watched The Notebook again and again, crying all over, and dripping tears into the bowl of ice-cream.

Her dads were disgusted.

* * *

Jesse St James was charming, really charming. He charmed her into believing him.

She got egged in the end.

* * *

Rachel regretted the decision to stay behind during Regionals. She  _should_  be there – with Quinn or not – when she was giving birth. Why would she want to stay behind? Her pride took her over and she wanted to watch Jesse performed.

Bohemian Rhapsody.

She couldn't help but chuckle when she thought she heard Quinn yelling 'Let me go!' when Vocal Adrenaline sang 'Bismillah! We will not let you go!'.

That was just impossible.

* * *

She rushed to the hospital with her dads as soon as it was done and learned that Quinn gave birth to a baby girl. Rachel saw her and she instantly felt a connection. Indeed, a beautiful baby girl, just like Quinn.

Little did she know Beth was going to be her stepsister.

* * *

She wanted to visit Quinn. She wanted to see how she was faring. Despite everything Finn Hudson told her, like how Quinn had be tormenting her or lying to him, her concern for Quinn was as fiery as ever in her heart. She wanted to take Quinn out to a walk at the park. She wanted to show Quinn the stage where she'd perform for the first time in her life.

However, something pulled her back from taking that step.

That something named Beth.

She knew she shouldn't feel like this. After all, Shelby was just surrogate who'd given her to her dads. And she loved them with all her heart. But still, Shelby was her  _mom_. Shelby was the woman who carried her in her womb for ten months. Shelby was the woman breastfed her. Shelby brought her to this world.

And it wasn't surprising for her to think that Shelby just didn't love her as much as she loved the baby she just adopted.

She got a call during the summer from Puck. He wanted to meet her. They met at Lima Bean. Puck apologized. He told her Quinn often cried whenever they hung. He also told her that Quinn would go to sleep eventually after sleeping, and she'd say words like 'I am so sorry, Rachel.'

* * *

Rachel didn't expect them to be friends as soon as summer ended. But she wanted to foster the friendship. She wanted to be Quinn's friend so badly. That desire would've been worse than her want to be Finn's girlfriend. What she certainly didn't expect was for Quinn to rejoin the Cheerios.

She definitely couldn't understand why Quinn would want to rejoin the Cheerios after everything Sue Sylvester had done to her. And when Rachel saw her across the hallway, she saw Quinn strutting with pride and triumph, as if she could take the world, as if she was  _happy_  to be back on the squad and to be once again Sue Sylvester's slave.

She couldn't help but feel disappointed and she  _knew_  Quinn knew she was disappointed when their eyes met across the hallway.

She swore she could almost see Quinn cry right there and then.

* * *

Sam Evans transferred to this school and he and Quinn sang Lucky in class. She knew very well that she was the one who coaxed Quinn into singing a duet with Sam. She couldn't fight the jealousy welling up in her chest though.

* * *

She almost fainted in delight when she heard Quinn's voice during Marry You at Burt and Carole's wedding. She sounded happy.

* * *

Finn broke up with her. Again.

And of course, she'd cried and wallow with a bucket of vegan of ice-cream for two days straight, disgusting her dads again.

But two days was all it took.

* * *

Quinn and Finn dated. Rachel was distraught. And again, she had no idea if it was because she was jealous of Quinn…or of Finn.

* * *

She wrote Get It Right in tears; Quinn's voice was ringing in her head. The Glee clubbers might think she wrote the song for Finn. But really, she wrote the song for both herself and  _Quinn_. She also knew that Quinn discerned the meaning behind her lyrics when she came up behind Finn.

She told Quinn the truth. She told Quinn that Get It Right was  _their_  song when they ran into each other in the bathroom.

* * *

Finn broke her nose while they were rehearsing. She should've expected that. With his dancing skills, for him to knock someone down was just a matter of sooner or later. But her self-esteem was definitely brought down when the doctor told her she was not one in a million – well, indirectly told her.

So she was half-inclined to do the nose job.

Then she asked Quinn to go to the doctor's office with her so she could get a sample of what she'd look like with a good looking nose. She knew it was undoubtedly creepy to ask someone for their nose. But she had no other choice. Quinn had the best nose in Glee club.

They sang their first and last duet, I Feel Pretty/Unpretty. And in spite of her melancholy for her broken nose – thank you very much, Finn Hudson – she'd never felt happier singing a duet with anyone than with Quinn.

And then she found out that Quinn went through a big transition since her childhood. What perfected her transition from Lucy Caboosey to Quinn Fabray was a nose job. Rachel wasn't furious with Quinn. She was frustrated with Quinn. Because she  _knew_  that even if Quinn didn't get that nose job, she would be just as pretty, because that was who she was.

* * *

Nobody would ever know, not even Quinn. But Rachel kept a picture of the young Lucy Quinn Fabray carefully tucked in a photo frame under her pillow.

* * *

Quinn slapped her at prom in the bathroom. Rachel had long accepted that their trysts would always be in bathroom.

She finally told Quinn the truest words she had ever said in her life.

"You're a very pretty girl, Quinn, the prettiest girl I've ever met but…you're a lot more than that."

She knew she said the right words when she saw hope livened up in Quinn's eyes.

* * *

Rachel felt the urge to punch Finn when he kissed her at Nationals. How could he be so insensitive? This was Nationals! A highly professional choir competition that would not accept any sort of inappropriate gesture on stage! And he  _kissed_  her.

Of course, she loved him. And she'd wanted to kiss him for as long as she remembered but why would he choose when they were on stage competing?

Plus, he had an ex-girlfriend that he so unceremoniously broke up with at Sue Sylvester's sister's funeral. Rachel still couldn't believe he did that to Quinn and she was kind of furious at him for doing this to Quinn.

She faked a smile at Finn and then went to her spot and performed Light Up The World with the club. She could distinctly see the bored look on Quinn's face and couldn't imagine why she was bored at this unbelievably exhilarating competition.

They lost.

Quinn cut her hair.

* * *

She spent most of summer with Finn and Kurt, mostly Kurt. Finn was loving but he was still a  _straight_  boy who loved Call Of Duty. So she always went out with Kurt, sometimes Blaine would come along too. She talked with him and one time they were at Lima Bean chatting over her soy chai tea and his black coffee when she saw Quinn with pink hair, tattooed all over and a Ryan Seacrest tattoo on her back.

She was shocked senseless that she filtered out Kurt's voice. She heard nothing except for the annoying buzz in her head and Quinn talking to her friends – the Skanks, she recognized. She wanted to talk to Quinn but she couldn't find words. She couldn't even find her  _voice_. Her attention only went back to her best gay when Quinn left.

"She must've been in a lot of pain," Kurt commented and shrugged nonchalantly.

* * *

She risked her own safety when she went under the bleachers to see Quinn there,  _smoking_  and hanging out with the Skanks. Rachel glanced disapprovingly at the cigarette before looking back at Quinn.

Knowing that Quinn wouldn't listen to her immediately, she managed a tiny smile and nodded. "Whenever you're ready, okay?" she said before walking. She felt like she'd done her purpose because Quinn's eyes stayed on her as she walked away with her head held high.

* * *

Shelby was here. As a teacher.

Rachel felt nothing.

Quinn came back.

* * *

Screw Artie Abrams.

If it wasn't for him planting the stupid idea into her head, she wouldn't have this crazy impulse to give up her virginity to Finn and gather all the Glee girls, including Santana and Brittany who were in TroubleTones. She thought she saw Santana throwing Quinn worrying glances as she rambled about having sex with Finn.

Then Quinn told her she shouldn't give up her virginity so easily. So did Santana.

Rachel had a feeling that Santana was just helping Quinn with  _something_. And she was sure she saw mild agony present in Quinn's eyes as they talked.

* * *

She ended up having sex with Finn.

It was…okay.

He was early.

* * *

For as long as she had dated Finn, she didn't know how many times she was furious at Finn. But she was sure that she was furious at him now.

Because despite how much Santana had insulted him, it was unacceptable of him to just out Santana as a form of revenge. It was deplorable. It was excruciatingly stupid. It was selfish. It was infiltrating a person's deepest privacy and secret.

She was furious enough to not talk to him for two days until he finally coaxed her to talk to him with his stupid puppy dog eyes and sex.

Because really, she was still a hormonal teenager.

* * *

When they sang I Kissed A Girl, she felt slightly turned on when Quinn wrapped her arm around her.

Rachel shuddered at the thought of that at night and came at the thought of Quinn.

* * *

Suspended.

Of all things she expected in her high school career, she never expected herself to be  _suspended_. Kurt forgave her, she was relieved. She came back to school to fetch her schoolwork and Quinn came to talk to her. She told her Puck was having sex with Shelby and her initial thought was ' _Ew…_ '

But Quinn also said she was going to get Shelby fired for having sex and Rachel immediately engulfed with horror and fear. For both Beth and Quinn. Not for Shelby.

She talked to Quinn with brutal honesty and tried to kick some sense into Quinn's head. She wasn't going to let Quinn ruin Beth's life just because of some petty jealousy and she was not going to let Quinn's future be ruined because she had to take care of a child. She still thought Quinn had a bright future ahead if only she would stop being so self-deprecating.

* * *

She initially thought Quinn was going to proceed with her plan anyway when she saw her outside Principal Figgins' office. But Quinn told her she wanted to talk to her, surprising Rachel.

Quinn thanked her. And she asked her about Yale. Rachel was glad that Quinn finally decided to pursue a future. In  _drama_ , Rachel certainly didn't expect that. But she pushed Quinn. She encouraged her. She told Quinn the thing she'd always told her.

"You're better than you know."

Quinn smiled thankfully and Rachel believed she'd never been this happy for a long time.

* * *

Finn proposed and Rachel had a feeling that Finn's purpose wasn't just because he loved her.

She felt like being used.

* * *

She looked for Quinn in the bathroom. Of all people, she felt Quinn was the only one who could be brutally honest with her and would give her the best advice she could get. Quinn disapproved of her getting married to Finn. Rachel wanted to say Quinn was just jealous of her but the sincerity in Quinn's eyes said otherwise.

Quinn got into Yale and Rachel was  _truly_  happy for Quinn.

Rachel heard Quinn and she took her words to the bottom of her heart. But she still couldn't listen to her. It was like somewhere in her body, there was this…non-existent voice constantly whispering at her to tell her to rebel against Quinn, telling her that Quinn wasn't a good girl and her main intention in life was to ruin hers, telling her that she and Quinn would never be as close as she saw those best friends were.

She succumbed to it. Damn her weak defense.

Quinn sang Never Can Say Goodbye – the first solo she had sung ever since It's A Man Man's World – and she sang it beautifully. It was such a long time since Rachel had last seen Quinn so vigorous and fervor in performing. Come to think of it, Rachel had not seen Quinn carry so much  _life_  since the birth of Beth.

She made a tiny speech after the performance, addressing the entire Glee club, but really, Rachel could see those words were intended for her. Those biting and yet so  _truthful_  words. Their eye never left each other as Quinn told them that she got into Yale and said, "You can't change your past, but you can let go and start your future."

Rachel cried that night after an utterly unsatisfying sex with Finn.

* * *

She wanted to talk to Quinn about it. She wanted to tell Quinn that she saw her and Sebastian sneaking out of Lima Bean's storage room one day when she was buying drinks for herself and Kurt.

She couldn't stop dwelling on it for days.

But she also couldn't open her mouth and say the words to tell Quinn that she should stop this dalliance with Sebastian Smythe.

* * *

They announced their engagement during the Valentine week and of course, there would be people protesting against it. Of course, Quinn and Kurt would be among the protestants. In fact, they seemed the strongest since Quinn didn't even react when she told her she was uninvited and that Kurt had even taken the liberty to tell her dads about it.

However, she didn't feel as happy as she thought she should when they told her they approved. She had a sneaking suspicion that they were pretending to be approving though. She decided to let it bed. She loved Finn. She kept telling herself she loved Finn.

The God Squad sang Stereo Heart to her, a Valentine telegram from Finn. That Joe Hart kid was good, but she couldn't help but find him creepy with the dreadlocks and the obsession with Jesus Christ. She couldn't understand why Quinn didn't sing a single part in the performance. She knew from personal experience that Quinn had an incredible voice.

She didn't notice the torn look in Quinn's eyes though.

* * *

Finn knew nothing about Valentine telegram. In fact, he didn't even know there was a service like this at all.

* * *

David Karofsky committed suicide. Rachel was horrified and startled when she heard the news from Mr Schuester and saw it  _trending_  on Twitter. Her heart was no longer ringing with Quinn's words. Instead, they were replaced by the anxious pounding of her heart and she wanted to make things quick.

And so she told Finn she wanted to get married as fast as possible.

It was a rash decision. She knew. She wanted to take it back as soon as she said it but the hopeful look on Finn's face stopped her from saying so. So she just went with it.

Mr Schuester gathered them at the auditorium one day and asked to talk about their dreams. She and Quinn shared a moment and she thought that this moment was much more valuable than any of the other moments she spent with Finn.

She felt like she wasn't being loyal to Finn.

* * *

She wasn't even sure who Here's To Us was intended to when she sang it. But she was certain it wasn't Finn. When she rehearsed the song, she didn't even  _think_  about him. All she could think about was the Valentine telegram and the moment she shared with Quinn in the auditorium and Quinn constantly telling her she wasn't supposed to get married at such an early age.

So when Quinn asked her that question in the empty hallway, all she could managed was slight incline of her head because she didn't know what to say. Quinn took it the wrong way and told her she wanted to support her and wanted to attend the wedding if she had the chance.

Rachel was ecstatic.

They hugged and it felt like Rachel was having the hug of her life.

* * *

"It's now or never."

 _I want Quinn to stop this wedding_.

And Quinn did.

Just not in the way Rachel wanted her to.

* * *

"I'm in love with Quinn."

"What?"

"I said I'm in love with Quinn, Kurt."

"What happened to my brother?"

"I just…I just don't feel that with Finn anymore."

"Have you ever thought of telling her?"

"It's not…she's not going to accept me anyway. I'll just end up heartbroken."

"So, what? You're going to marry him even though you don't love him?"

"I do love him. I'm just not in love with him."

"I'm sorry, I still don't understand."

"At least if I marry Finn I wouldn't feel unloved."

"That's selfish, Rachel."

"I'm sorry."

* * *

She felt guilty. So she didn't go to the hospital to visit Quinn until she rolled her way down the hallway in a wheelchair. Quinn seemed unnerved at all. And then Artie rolled next to her and gave Rachel a dirty look, one that Rachel understood completely.

Ironically, Quinn and Artie performed I'm Still Standing. Rachel couldn't find it in herself to even smile at Quinn's enthusiasm.

She finally broke when they were in the library and she apologized so desperately that she felt pathetic and helpless. It was until Quinn said she didn't blame her that Rachel even felt the slight relief from the clenching of her heart. When they released each other from their hug, Rachel relished in hand holding as long as she could.

* * *

Rachel wanted to accompany Quinn to physical therapy.

She just wasn't brave enough to say it.

* * *

Finn wanted her to go to California. Like hell she would. She would never go to California and throw away her Broadway dreams. If he didn't want to go to New York, so be it. She wasn't in love with him anyway.

* * *

They had angry sex not even six hours later.

Rachel cried with Finn snoring next to her.

 _Slut_.

* * *

She missed Quinn the week they had the disco assignment. She missed her terribly.

She told Finn she would go to California with him if that was really what he wanted. She really didn't know what go into her.

* * *

Whitney Houston passed away. She didn't even know how to respond to that news. It was depressing to the whole nation, especially Mercedes. Whitney was legendary and an icon. When Mr Schuester assigned the Whitney assignment, she was so ecstatic that this was the first time she'd smile so wide ever since Quinn's accident.

She and Santana sang a duet. Surprise surprise! They were civil afterwards and they were sitting in the auditorium together one day during break. Brittany was in a class. Finn was at gym and Kurt was hanging with Blaine. Quinn was with  _Joe Hart_  doing whatever it was they were doing.

They were quiet and thinking about their own problems until Santana popped the balloon.

"You're in love with Quinn," Santana blurted and Rachel's head snapped to her. The Latina was looking at her skeptically. "You, Rachel Berry, are in love with Quinn Fabray, are you not?" Santana questioned, though she knew the answer already. So Rachel stayed silent and Santana shrugged. "I have awesome gaydar." Rachel smiled timidly and looked down at her hands. "I don't understand you two! You're in love with her but you still want to stick with Finnessa who's like a total jerk and he's motherfucking  _early_  during sex."

Rachel laughed humorously as she thought of how Finn was always early. Then she caught on it. "What do you mean you understand 'us two'?"

Santana's eyes widened and her face paled. She clenched her jaw and looked away then she stood up. "Nothing," she muttered and quickly ran out.

Rachel was in shock but she quickly reacted and chased after Santana, catching up to her around a corner and grabbed her shoulder, turning her around. "Tell me, Santana," she demanded sternly, ready to explode with nerves. "Santana," she prodded.

"She's in love with you too."

* * *

Rachel couldn't believe Santana would lie to her like that! It was serious! Quinn wasn't in love with her! She sang Saving All My Love For You with Joe Hart, for God's sake!

* * *

Quinn had a fever, that was why she wasn't at school when Rachel embarrassed herself and ruined her future with Carmen Thibideaux. She  _choked_  in her audition. She choked in a song that she'd been singing since she was a child and she couldn't even believe herself.

She hated herself the moment Carmen walked out the door and she wanted to just jump off a building or run herself into the wall. She didn't even know what she should be doing now. She was without directions and she didn't want Finn to be there holding her and saying nothing. She didn't want that.

She wanted  _Quinn_.

And it was as if her wishes were heard by whoever was listening because Quinn showed up at her door with Santana. The Latina had a smug look on her face when her eyes flickered to her in surprise. She told Quinn she was going to Brittany's and asked her to call her when she was done. Then she left Quinn on the threshold with Rachel.

She hurriedly yelled for her dads to help her carry Quinn into the house and helped her onto the couch. Quinn didn't say anything. She just smiled at her and nodded and Rachel knew that Quinn was here to offer some silent comfort. She was touched. They ended up watching Funny Girl, snuggling on the couch.

"Thank you, Quinn."

* * *

She didn't want Finn campaigning with Quinn. She didn't want to see Finn dancing with the  _girl_  she was in love with. Even though she and Finn were dating and she and Quinn were just friends, she was jealous of Finn. She held pure detest towards Finn when she saw the poster of them together.

That was why she had this insane idea of this Anti-Prom party.

When Finn appeared, she reluctantly showed up at the Prom but could see no sign of Quinn. She texted Quinn and asked to meet in the hallway.

"Do you not understand what you mean to me?" She cursed herself for blurting that out. Then she said the nonsense of admiring Quinn and  _shit_  like that. She didn't just admire Quinn. It was more than admiration. Then she finally said the words she truly meant.

"When I look back on my high school career the one thing, the one accomplishment that I'm going to be so proud of is that I found a way to be your friend."

Miraculously, she won Prom Queen after and she saw that proud look on Quinn's face and she immediately knew it was Quinn's doing.

And then Quinn  _stood_. She stood up! Not even winning Prom Queen could compare to that.

* * *

She couldn't get the image of Quinn dancing at Nationals out of her head that night. It was miraculous and completely amazing. She admired Quinn for being able to dance through such a difficult routine even though she only recovered recently.

When she came out of the bathroom, everybody was asleep except Santana. She was watching Brittany sleeping on the other bed. Mercedes, Sugar and Tina slept on the sleeping bags on the floor and the only space left was the spot next to Quinn and it wasn't even big. She wondered if they knew.

Santana looked up from Brittany and winked before switching off the bedside lamp on her side and fell asleep. Rachel sighed and was getting ready for bed before she noticed the notebook in Quinn's hand. She took a glance at Quinn to see her sound asleep. She didn't even bother to be discreet or fight her curiosity.

She took the notebook out of her hand and saw Quinn's neat and cursive handwriting scribbled across the page:

_If I could have just one wish,_

_I would wish to wake up everyday_

_to the sound of your breath on my neck,_

_the warmth of your lips on my cheek,_

_the touch of your fingers on my skin,_

_and the feel of your heart beating with mine..._

_Knowing that I could never find that feeling_

_with anyone other than you._

A smile danced across Rachel's face and her eyes to the rabbits and holes drawn around the words and laughed silently. So Quinn. She sighed and closed it, put it on the bedside table and slid under the covers and switched off the lamp. She turned to Quinn and snuggled into Quinn's side, smiling when she heard Quinn mumbled a few words and slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Quinn bought Metro passes for her.

Rachel didn't even know what to think.

Quinn was confusing her. She wanted to assume Santana was right but she didn't want to make the wrong assumption.

But everything Quinn had been doing this year just indicated what Santana was saying was true.

She kissed the Metro pass and tucked it carefully into her wallet before going to sleep.

* * *

She was relieved when Finn broke up with her.

Her relief was replaced with fear when he told her he was joining the army.

Sure, she wasn't in love with him. But she loved him. He was one of her best friends! And he was going to the army?

He begged her to surrender with him. He begged her to get on that train and just do well for her future. He begged her to not dwell on this.

This was the first time she'd heard him begging.

So she obliged but didn't stop crying anyway.

* * *

Four days after settling in, she got a call from Santana. A call from  _Santana._

"You should call Quinn. And you really should believe me."

It took her forty-six minutes to finally believe in Santana and believe that Quinn was in love with her. She dialed that number and chatted with Quinn.

"How are you, Quinn?" she asked, fighting the urge to tell Quinn she was in love with her.

And Quinn said, "I'm doing as well as I can."

Rachel shut her eyes and listened to her breathing. Her heart thumped because she  _knew_.

* * *

She kissed Quinn.

It felt like she was having the kiss of the century. The Superwoman of kisses. It even came with a cape.

She smiled.

 _Thank you, Finn_.

* * *

They carried a long-distant relationship and they were happy. Of course, they fought sometimes but nothing they couldn't fix. She was happy with Quinn, like…really happy and she'd be damned if she let her own selfishness to ruin it.

They had sex five months after they officially dated and she couldn't even begin to fathom why was it that she never made the approach earlier because it was  _mind-blowing._

After graduation, they rented an apartment. A shoe-box apartment and she felt content. She could come home to Quinn who would either be reading or writing or watching some question game on television that Quinn seemed to know every answer to every question.

They had sex in the study, in the bathroom, in the kitchen and one time, they even had sex on the balcony and she wasn't even ashamed. Yes, let those people see how in love she was with Quinn.

She found home in Quinn.

* * *

Five years later, they went back to Lima for a Glee reunion and it seemed that Figgins had put her donation to the school to good use because the school looked renewed. The gym was better with its facilities and the auditorium now had more ramps. Everything looked better.

The choir room didn't change though. She specifically asked him to exclude the choir room from renovation because she wanted to keep it the way it was. Full of life and music.

Finn had retired from the army and he told he planned to go to California to help Puck with his pool cleaning service and she couldn't help but laugh. Finn saw her holding hands with Quinn and congratulated them sincerely, winking at her before walking away to join the men.

Rachel's jaw slackened when she realized something. Then she laughed. She yelled across the room, "Thank you so much, Finn!" He looked up from some deep discussion with the boys and grinned at her, winking again before going back to discussing.

She refused to tell Quinn what she was thanking him for.

He broke up with her because he  _knew_  that she was in love with Quinn.

* * *

The night before they went back to New York, they were spooning in her childhood bed. She relished in the warmth of Quinn's body and snuggled closer, humming and squeezing her thighs together. She really wanted to have sex but her dads were next door so it didn't seem appropriate at all.

She'd settle for spooning for now.

She was happy. She got her happy ending and she couldn't ask for anything more.

"Thank you for making me such a happy girl, Quinn," she whispered.

Quinn hummed in response and tightened her arms around Rachel.


End file.
